Jon McClarnon

Every time that I go through the counseling process with an engaged couple I ask some of the same questions. One of those questions is this: “with so many marriages ending in divorce, why will yours be the one that lasts?”

It’s something to think about on the front end for sure. But it’s something to always keep coming back to while you’re in the middle of the day in and day out of your marriage.

When I look at the end of the love story between Solomon and his bride at the end of Song of Songs, I find two really great insights to how a relationship can last a lifetime.

1. Honor your Commitment – Song of Songs 8:5-6
A seal would mark something as being possessed by another person. In their relationship they had free possession of one another’s lives. They belonged to each another. In fact, one version reads this way: “Wear me as a signet ring on your heart; as a ring on your hand.”

Hey folks, the wedding ring is a visual reminder of your commitment.
I’ve never counseled an engaged couple who said they would be happy with a 5 year deal. I have talked with women who had a dream as a little girl to make it all the way and it didn’t happen. Look at your ring often as a reminder of your commitment.

Part of honoring your commitment is to be faithful in tough times.
Song of Songs 8:7
When its sickness, not health, poor not rich, bad not good…what then?
Please read this:
Your commitment is not to “the marriage”.
Your commitment is not to your vows.
Your commitment is not to her dad.
Your commitment was to HER. Or HIM.

Meatloaf was mostly right. He said good stuff – “I’ll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life.” “I’ll be there until the final act.” “Take a vow and seal a pact.” He came up short when he said that he’d do it for love.

Let me say – do it for HER. Do it for HIM.
Here’s what you must Do – whatever it takes.
- Get some real help.
- Date consistently – talk/engage
- Pursue – you won her, keep winning her.
- Serve each other.

2. Prioritize your First Love
Song of Songs 8:5 which sounds alot like Song of Songs 3:6
This is a reference, at least an image, from the book of Exodus where the Israelites are being led by God, by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. This was very important in their culture. They would talk about this. It was part of who they were.

She seems to be saying, “Solomon, I see you coming. You are coming as if you are being led by God himself to come and take me in this processional to be your wife.”
It’s a statement that God was in charge.

I think it’s implied here that this couple who has come through a lot of difficulty, conflict and pain in their relationship, now has God leading them and bringing them to a place of safety. He’s bringing them through it. God is leading the way.

If you’re going to make it safely and strongly in your relationship…you must be led by God.

Statistics tell us that 1 out of 2 marriages are ending in divorce…actually a little higher than that. But there was a Harvard study that concluded, that if a couple is pursuing God – reading Bible, prayer, active in church together – that number jumps to 1 out of 1150.

The most necessary bond in your marriage is between you and God.
A Christ-centered marriage relationship adds a whole other dimension to things. It’s the difference between dial up and broadband. You have an arsenal of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self control at your disposal.

So, passionately love God with everything you have and invest your life in your spouse. They are essential to making love last a lifetime!